please confirm that you will be able to attend wedding

The first thing we do when we take the front and turn, and see all those people looking back at us tense and anxious and tight as a drum is: smile. The first thing to do will come easy when we open with the cheer-inducing question. But, wasn’t this post called What to Say and Do to Start the Wedding Ceremony?” What’s the do part? The tone I was setting for their level of participation. It was about the permission I was implicitly giving them. And yep: in the weddings where I opened with just, “Hi everyone, welcome to the wedding of…,” the guests were a bit muted when I opened with that YES!-inducing question, the guests laughed harder, cried freer, and cheered louder.īoom. But soon I suspected the algorithm was me, and I started to test it. Sometimes a number of factors contribute to how free and relaxed the guests feel during the wedding ceremony. What was the difference? Was it the decor? The seating? The echoiness of the room? The weather? I learned it by comparing my first many weddings to each other. When I started out officiating, I learned this the long way. And they’re grateful we’re made the wedding ceremony about them, too. Otherwise it will make things really awkward.)Īnd now the guests are all in. (Of course… make sure you change “Jill and Andrew” to the names of your couple. The question is: “Are you ready for Jill and Andrew to finally get married?”

It’s a question that can only be replied to with a rousing “YES!” from all the friends and family and guests. We are gathered here today….” The first thing we say to start a wedding ceremony is: a question. So if that’s what we’re going for – if that’s the vibe we want – then we don’t start with declarations like, “Welcome to the wedding of Jill and Andrew” or “Hi everyone, thanks for coming. They know right away: the officiant sees me. What do the guests know about how they are to behave and feel during this ceremony? Let me hear you, now! Are you ready for Jill and Andrew to finally get married?” Scenario Two: Now imagine you say, “Good afternoon, everyone. And if that’s what you and/or your couple are going for, you can stop reading now because you’re gonna get exactly the result you want with that opening. The question is: what do the guests know about how they are to behave and feel during this ceremony?Īnswer: reserved. Scenario One: You say, “Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today….” Okay, let’s reserve judgment on your choice to start the ceremony that way. (Remember those books? Did I just date myself?) Here’s where the Choose Your Own Adventure begins. You make the last check of the five details, walk to the front of the room, turn, see 100+ people looking back at you, and take a breath to start the wedding ceremony.

Please confirm that you will be able to attend wedding